Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Emergency Roadside Transfusions

The safest thing I could do while riding my bike on Franklin Blvd. would be to ditch the helmet, shave my legs, put on a wig and throw on a dress.

Researchers in New England found that women bicyclists without helmets are afforded more space by passing vehicles. Why? Presumably, they are more vulnerable, while male cyclists with helmets can "take it like men." I don't know whether male or female motorists are responsible for giving more space...perhaps it's both.

Perhaps men, thinking that women make terrible drivers, also think they make terrible bicyclists...so they give them space for their sudden direction changes, unannounced stops, failure to signal, and their generally incoherent, unpredictable, and chaotic nature as vehicle operators, motored or otherwise.

Crossdressing, I think my calves would give me away, shaven or not. Perhaps I ought to keep my helmet on. Besides, as I'm unconscious and bleeding out following my future bike/bus accident, the information stenciled on my helmet might just afford me a second chance:


With an A- blood type, I think I can only take O- and A-, which are 7.7% and 6.5% of the population, respectively. Thus, I'm not likely to survive an emergency roadside transfusion from a motoring Samaritan as I only have a 14% chance of her/him having the right blood type.

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