Just Don't Crash

As a citizen of the auto-brutalized city of Elk Grove, I commute to work each day to Sacramento, as do the vast, vast majority of Elk Grovians. Elk Grove holds only a handful of jobs worthy of its median cost of housing, so most of us commute -- a half million person/miles each day, to SACTOWN, to OAKTOWN, to Marysville, to where ever...

The City of Sacramento recently approved a crash tax, intended on forcing Elk Grovians who commute there and cause a accident to pay for the fire, ambulatory, or other costs associated with their bad driving habits that result in an accident.

I was on the fence regarding this measure. On one hand, I congratulate cities who realize that importing drivers to their jobs creates an unfair burden on their residents by having to fund public safety personnel for imported accidents, but on the other hand, I realize Elk Grovians are already taxed to provide these services as Elk Grovians.

In the end I embrace the idea of crash taxes. Let the assholes who cause accidents pay for them.

Today while at my cousin's house I witnessed a ~25 year-old Hispanic five houses down exit his driveway in his Silverado and gun it all the way to the stop sign. His windows were down. His left arm was resting on the window sill. He was clearly expressing his machismo by acting like a selfish fucking prick racing himself down a residential street. If he were an out-of-towner and he caused a wreck I would have no problem assigning him the costs associated with it. As it is, as a [presumably] Sacramentan, the costs associated with the future wreck(s) he'll cause will be absorbed by Sacramento taxpayers. In the end I have no problem with the causality of wrecks -- let those who cause them pay for them.

Commenters far and wide decry this as a means to "drive people out of the city." Another commenter says "get back to work and stop wasting my tax dollars on ways to tax the people or get out of office."

This is why I rarely read the comment sections on Sacbee.com or other media. The responses are too often badly worded, misspelled, totally incoherent, or just pointless. "Get back to work and stop wasting my tax dollars on ways to tax the people..." Back to work doing what?"

I will support this crash tax. I will ignore bloggers' comments that this will "incentivize people to shop elsewhere other than Sacramento." Tell me -- when was the last time you heard of anyone make a conscious decision to not shop a particular location because of the potential for taxation? This nation is full of ignorant, sophomoric, mindless consumers -- do you really think that a conscientious shopper means anything to a corporation already selling gobs of shit to a third of a billion other mass consumers who don't give a fuck about anything other than price?

Please.

Simply, drive carefully in Sacramento if you want to avoid the crash tax. What harm can come from following that advice, huh?