The Smaller The Woman, The Bigger The SUV

It was mid-2006 when I observed that the smaller the woman, the bigger the SUV she drove. I specifically remember where I was -- in my work's parking lot, watching a cadre of small women drive up in huge rigs to the child care center to drop off their kids. I used this statement in earlier Monologue posts.

This exact quote was used today in a editorial by David Brooks, and in a surprisingly sarcastic fashion for a syndicated columnist he detailed that the woman is, of course, wearing her tennis whites with her doubles teammate on her shoulders because she has more than enough headroom in her 4-ton SUV.

You will be able to correctly guess my race after the following statement: "as I mentally envisioned D. Brook's statement, I only thought of a white woman." That's what I thought. I did not even consider that a small black woman or a small Bengali woman might also do the same thing, but it's probably because in all my years of observation the women were always small and white.

I would say that the vainer the white woman the bigger the rig, too, and well-to-do white women can be notoriously vain. My Elk Grove was/is full of them, particularly in the better neighborhoods -- you know, those who lived in homes that commanded $605,000 in 2006 that today might fetch $327,000. A half million dollar house with a tenth of a million in garaged vehicles with a twentieth of a million in income -- vanity ran strong.

Now, not four years after the SUV boom, you can really see our cars' age, can't you? A few door dings here, dirt encrusting the inner perimeter of those custom rims there -- man, if I had to drive one of those things would I be embarrassed. Would I ever!

D. Brooks argues that maybe we'll reset our thinking, to where smallness supersedes our last era of excess...something I've been saying for a few years here but without really thinking it will ever happen -- where perhaps material possessions are exchanged for valid communities, for neighborly relationships. He details the efforts of a rising young Christian minister in Alabama who's noteworthy for his views on non-materialistic piety. Anyone who's read these Monologues knows that I don't need the teachings of a supposed humble Jesus to tell me the destructiveness American materialism has had on our society, but I'll tell you, many do. The most conspicuous display of consumption I see on a daily basis is my bicycle ride past Christian Brothers High School, where $32 million worth of Land Rovers, E65's and Escalades parade through Oak Park shuttling the next generation of conspicuous consumers to school.

Perhaps we become better people if we are forced into an economic calamity where materialism isn't possible anymore, but my pessimism trumps all. I still think that going forward, under any conditions, the smaller the woman, the more her ride will bling. We can't escape our materialism.