Everyone Wins

The Elk Grovian City Council has now voted to permanently ban medical marijuana dispensaries.

Now our 8,450 residents who are qualified to consume cannabis will simply climb into their cars and drive to Sacramento where there are forty seven dispensaries, doing nothing more than blowing money on both weed and foreign oil.

From a purely economic perspective, Elk Grove will probably gain more from their ban by gaining tax revenues from residents having to purchase motor vehicles at our Auto Mall sooner than they otherwise would have due to them driving sixty more miles each week to get their weed from afar...more than having taxed the dispensaries in the first place.

Those city council members...smart fuckers they are...are much smarter than I.

Of course, we have Jim Cooper clearly in opposition to said dispensaries because law enforcement will forever be in opposition to de-criminalization. And I can see his point. If this state's consumers choose to de-criminalize pot, the role of law enforcement will be reduced, and as a lifelong enforcer of the law he clearly needs to support laws that expand the role law enforcement officers have in providing that enforcement. In the same fashion, electric utilities are in favor of the smarte grid for precisely the same reason -- their futures are only enhanced by creating complex technological solutions...solutions that in the end will lead to more energy use. With our smarte grid you can be assured that we will consume more energy overall, not less. With our ban on dispensaries you can be assured that we will consume more marijuana overall, not less.

So we'll ban medical marijuana in our fair city to the applause of Christian Conservatives while failing to recognize that our constituents will simply drive a few more million vehicle miles annually to Sactown to get their weed and get loaded in their cars before driving back home to Elk Grove. Potheads will still have access to herb. Our religious right will feel good about their ban and how "Elk Grove is a better place for it." Oil companies will feel good about having a dedicated clientele consuming foreign petroleum to get their weed, because they will go to great lengths to score. Our city will gain tax revenues for selling more cars to potheads. The religious right will simply be taxed more to maintain the roads needed to shuttle these potheads to Sacramento and beyond, but they won't even notice.

In the end, everyone wins.