The Consume More Act of 2009

Nissan is developing the "Leaf," an all electric car, supposedly available just after this decade is over.

I'm curious about the name Leaf. What will Mitsubishi's electric car be called?

The Mitsubishi Twig
The Kia Petal (a clever double pun, don't you think?)
The Suzuki Stamen
The Chrysler Cotyledon

The greener the name, the greener the car, eh? That's greenwashing for you.

Paying a premium today for an all-electric or a hybrid only makes sense if you drive over 15,000 miles a year to help defray the premium...but how green is that? Live 45 minutes from work as a choice, then declare yourself a greenie 'cause you drive a 2011 Chrysler Cotyledon.

When did we decide that the choice of rig is all that distinguishes you from an Earth Destroyer or a Planet Lover? In my opinion, all choices are equal. Doesn't matter if you're driving an H3 or a Prius -- the effects of your choice are not materially different. Is the guy driving his Prius 23,000 miles each year back and forth between San Francisco and San Diego (Prius capitals of America) a better environmental steward that an H3 Hummer driver who takes his rig out only on Sunday for breakfast? No.

Again referring to this stupid Consumer Assistance Recycle and Save Act -- why did they accept only a 2mpg difference as the qualifier for assistance? Is an additional 2 mpg on a quarter million vehicles going to save the planet?

The thing that everyone, everyone! outright ignores is the energy consumed to build the damn car in the first place. There have been multiple calculations regarding front-end energy vs. operating energy and all studies indicate that at least 15% of all energy from cradle to grave of any vehicle can be attributed to the manufacturing -- 15% of the total energy is used to smelt the iron ore, to build the steel, plastic, rubber...to assemble the car.

So the idea that a 2 mpg improvement is sufficient to warrant outright replacement of a vehicle, sufficient to earn a taxpayer subsidized payment...ignores the fact that you have to first overcome the 15% immediately lost in the manufacturing of the new vehicle. Unless you can get at least 15% improvement in the operating energy (i.e., gasoline) you are subsidizing the use of more energy, not less.

That's why this Act's name is pure horseshit. Save? No, it's Take. Recycle? No, it's use more resources.

The Dumb Fucking Merikan Consumer Drive More and Consume More Act of 2009.