Carla The Crack Whore

Christ, you'd think we all live in Fisher Price's Weeble Wobble's Little People's Discovery Village. I'm almost ashamed I live in this idiotic nation. We've now got Joe the Plumber, Sally the Seamstress, Hank the Handyman, LuLu the Luthier, Bill the Bailbondsman, Carla the Crack Whore, and Sam the Sheetrocker living next door to us on Elm Street in all our little Main Street towns.

This is unconscionably moronic -- referring to people with these simplistic, childish, cartoonish tag lines. So I must be Ernie the Engineer. My sister -- Amy the Aging Caregiver. My other sister -- Connie the Construction Manager. My mom -- Donna the Donations Lady. My dad -- Fred the Francher.

It's not hard to understand why Joe the Plumber endorsed McCain on Tuesday -- Joe hired Pedro the Publicist to manage his public appearance requests...and presumably he'll quickly find his way into the top tax bracket in short order and will work to keep as much of this publicity money in his own hands as he possibly can. It won't be long before he's in the top 2% of all earners in Merika. And he should be able to keep every damn dollar he can possibly earn, even at the expense of all of our dignity.