Sportsmen for McCain

People whose paycheck depends on the American ethos of perpetual leisure, relaxation and recreation are wont to vote Republican this fall.

The Sacramento Bee reported today how a couple living in their 3,000 sq ft dream home in Yuba can't seem to make it anymore...how their twin commutes cost them $300 a month in gasoline and how this is "horrible."

Bear in mind that Yuba City has no local economy. Sure, there is and there always has been agriculture, but white couples in starter mansions don't grow almonds. No, they pile into their rigs and grind out daily commutes to Woodland, to Roseville, to Beale and McClellan...because wa-hey! That's where the jobs are!

So I'm supposed to feel bad for this couple? Because they made the conscious decision to live miles from everywhere, where to get a key made or to buy a pack of gum requires a nine mile round trip by truck? You know what? Fuck 'em.

Yuba county, behind Riverside and Contra Costa, has the third highest average commute time per resident. And I will prepare and host a chicken dinner for every Monologue reader if any of these three counties doesn't vote red in November.

In the same article, a Marysville bait shop owner was quoted "We want areas to stay beautiful, but if there's oil in Alaska, then you gotta do what you gotta do. It's either that, or don't drive cars." Beautiful? This guy's livelihood is dependent on the perpetual motoring lifestyles of recreational fishermen from afar, and his livelihood is underwritten by cheap, liberal petroleum. If oil sands were discovered tomorrow underneath his precious Feather River he'd have a much different opinion, now wouldn't he?

"Sportsmen for McCain." is his refrain. Not only is salmon fishing banned this year (for any number of reasons -- climate change, over-harvesting, lack-of-water), we're also suffering from a prolonged drought with all signs pointing towards future decades of less water. He's beating the Republican drill! drill! drill! drum hoping that he'll continue to sell his leisure wares to a county whose citizens suffer from some of the worst unemployment rates in the state, and whose external patrons are motoring less often due to high gasoline.

So vote McCain/Palin this November. Master Baiters are depending on you.