Drive 'Till I Qualify

Let’s say I’m all for helping the Merikan economy. Forget the “information” or “digital” economy bullshit -- our economy is based on the construction and servicing of suburban sprawl, so I buy a new Elk Grovian house this October for $430,000, little to no down. I can’t see myself occupying 3,684 square feet while riding a bus to work (how degrading) so I buy myself a $22,000 car. In order to afford the house payment the wife has to work, too. She buys herself a $28,000 car. We do this every seven years...because no one should have to drive an old car. No Elk Grovian should and it ought to be outlawed so as to not lower property values from all those jalopies in driveways. What a public nuisance!

At the end of my 30-year mortgage, my home, say, is worth 3 times as much, $1.3 million. However, car prices have also gone up 3 times. I spend $50,000 over the first seven years, then 75k, 100k & 125k over my subsequent visits to the dealership. That’s $350,000, and when I include gasoline, auto insurance premiums, Tom-Tom Go payments, smog checks, interest payments, oil & lube servicing, new MP3 players, On-Star service agreements, DMV registration and vehicle license fees, insurance deductables from the inevitable accidents, Sirius satellite radio charges, AAA fees, and periodic A&B maintenance schedule servicing, it’s far more than the original cost of the house...even when I subtract off the residual values of the used vehicles.

So much for buying a cheap Elk Grove housing unit, eh? It about costs me double once I factor in the vehicles needed to service it. This is what I get for living in a "drive ‘till you qualify" environment. Every Elk Grovian drives south, far enough from the job bases in Sacramento until they can find a house they could afford. Today, if you head south even farther still, there are throngs of new developments that will be tomorrow's new Affordavilles.