But I do know they cork, so they don't follow the rules of the road, and that's more a less a form of protest. Against what? San Franciscans have a long history of such things so I suppose you can argue they protest against anything...lack of bicycling infrastructure, excess dependence on cars and foreign oil, gay rights on bikes, whatever.
So I though of what the back of my shirt would say if I were a riding political billboard, up and down Franklin Blvd, trying to show every car, truck, and SUV driver how politically active I am, how I'm the only one making a difference, and how righteous I am being the only green human being within a 2-mile radius. God, if only the world were made up of more people like me...
So I'd wear: No Soldiers Died to Fuel this Bike. And I'd bet I'd increase my odds of getting hit 10 fold.
But my favorite is this politically correct gem:
Not appropriate for the back of a shirt biker, but this tells the whole story of the last 7 years, doesn't it? Christian nation invades Islamic soil for the wealth underneath it, so that they may continue to drive unabated to their theme parks and casinos from their starter mansions in the country. Well, not in the country actually, but not in the city either. The suburbs, which aren't either. They are in noplace.
So do you think Jesus would drive a 1984 Plymouth Horizon with a broken crank-down passenger window, a hole in the dash where the cassette player used to be and no power brakes...or the re-designed '09 H2? What would the King of the Jews choose?
I find this an intriguing question...because on my daily bike ride I ride down Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd past Christian Brothers High School -- "Enter to Learn, Leave to Serve." And there is no finer example of conspicuous wealth and conspicuous consumption than these people, dropping off their kids at 7:20AM in their SUVs, a whole lot of them. My observation: The smaller the Chrisitan woman, the larger the SUV she drives, aka the Excursions and the Armadas.
Facinating to note that MLJ Jr. Blvd. runs right through Oak Park, about as depressed a neighborhood as you'll find in Sacramento. Here come all the white christians dropping off their children in the middle of a black and hispanic dominated part of town.
Now to their credit, they don't put on the bling -- rarely do you see the low profile tires and $4500 rims and the thumpin' sound system. (What would Days of Elijah sound like amped to 11 on the 4-12 woofers?) But there they sit idling on the clogged road at drop-off and pick-up time, because they can't let their children walk down the street. Too dangerous. Certainly, they live nowhere near the school. Driving is the only option. And the environment be damned. And the environment be damned.
And, and! Pulling out of the curb cut to get back on the road, at 7:45 AM they are in such a hurry they have on several occasions failed to yield to me on the bike. One of two accidents I've had occurred right there. "Jesus, take the wheel..." Isn't the bible's mandate to "multiply and fill the earth and subdue it" starkly evident here?
Ok, so I'm not being fair to Christians. To be fair...the accident was minor. She only dented my rear pannier frame. And she looked at me like someone just asked her to spell chrysanthemum -- she thought it was all my fault, she pulled right out without looking -- and then drove off without acknowledging the accident! What a bitch!
Regardless of how I present my observations (with bad faith, I know), they are truthful nonetheless. I will further modify my previous observation about environmentalism being the sole domain of whites -- it should read secular humanist whites.
So Jesus wouldn't be an environmentalist and he wouldn't wear hand-fashioned hemp sandals. He'd drive an SUV, like all in his dominion on MLJ Jr Blvd do.
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