Keep Bombing Brown People, Our Economy Depends On It

With gun sales booming, so is stock in Colt Firearms. I mentioned earlier this year how certain sectors of our economy make a killing (no pun intended) during a depression economic slowdown. So long as we continue to bomb brown people the US economy will do OK.

I said it six months ago and it's still relevant: We could bomb five new brown nations and feel good about it for what we spent to bail Goldman Sachs and feel like shit about it.

Let' see...North Koreans are most decidedly brown, don't you think? South Koreans are certainly whitish, but because we don't get to see too much of North Korea, their residents must be brown.

Nigeria -- while they might be technically black, because they sit atop 11% of our oil imports they are most certainly brown. Countries with oil tilt the coloring scale.

Therefore, Venezuelans are absolutely brown. They even have a brown name. An equatorial country with oil? Shit, they couldn't not be brown.

Iran? No country browner. The biggest "threat" since the Third Reich as governor, using an alphabet we don't use, along with loads of light sweet crude...yep, no browner a nation there is.

Pakistan? Well, very nearly 100% brown. And we are already actively bombing them. But I throw them on the list because we aren't technically bombing them yet according to our spokesmen.

The bombing of brown people would put myraid Americans back to work. Our Americans wouldn't give a shit about what they'd be doing, cause "it's a job, man," and that's all that matters. Instead of two active wars, how about seven?

Tell the employees of Winchester Repeating Arms that we're in a recession. They'd look at you like you just asked them to spell chrysanthemum. "There ain't no recession," they'd say, and from their point of view they'd be right. Can't manufacture enough personal firearms in these booming economic times.

Shit -- start bombing these five nations (whilst retracting all our bank bailouts) and economic recovery would happen overnight. All the soon to be end-of-unemployment-benefit 18-34 year olds will be willing soldiers against the Brown Infidels. Scads of women out of work as florists, real estate salesladies, wine tasting hosts, and balloon shopkeepers could re-tool into munitions manufacturers.

Don't think I'm out in left field...I'm squarely at shortstop here...I had already mentioned how Raytheon, General Atomics, Colt Firearms, Winchester, Northrup-Grumman and Lockheed-Martin haven't laid off shit while Starbucks, Boeing, and Warner Bros. have let go thousands. While the government is increasing their spending to boost GDP, why not increase our offensive defensive spending?