Slumdog Millionaires

Now that I know a car costs about $700 bucks more than it should to pay for all their advertising, I am wondering about all the other things we also pay these premiums on.

I found this a few weeks ago in the Sacramento Bee:



This is called the Claremont. Probably a reference to the uber-expensive Los Angeles Claremont. At least, I think it's expensive there, along the 15 right underneath the San Gabriel mountains, along with Monrovia, La Canada, Arcadia. (hmmm...sound's like some good names for other "signature" home models or subdivisions, eh? Live the Good Life At The Monrovians.)

But Rocklin ain't got no mountain range snuggled up to it, so the builder decides to create some with all these fantastic peaks and valleys on this "signature" home. Some roof goes that way, other roof goes this way...mountains without all the snow, black ice, or bothersome coniferous vegetation. The roof is PV ready, isn't it? In twenty years when PV is cheap the owner can have a laborer install a little on this roof, a little on that roof...that is, provided the homeowners association or CC&Rs allow it, which is highly doubtful. Solar panels would fuck up the pretty mountain views.

Speaking of bothersome vegetation, none here to clutter up the view of the mountains. Someday of course, those little trees will grow up to be bigger trees, with icky, icky leavey messes. Good thing there are Mexican or Vietnamese immigrants hangin' around these days, ready to mow and blow so the owners can sit back and enjoy the mountain view. And it's a good thing they don't have to live next to these lower income wage slaves, Christ, they would bring down the half a million dollar property values. Can't have that. Let the house laborers and maids drive from their slums, because out here things are so laid out that the nearest transit stop is a mile and a half away at the Taco Bell.

Yep, the owners can sit back and relax on that huge, covered front porch and chat with passers-by; you know, the neighbors who will be walking to all those award winning parks. Yeah, a full sized porch swing, barbecue set, wet bar and six chairs could easily fit on that porch, so much better than the owner's last home whose front porch was too narrow to even store a bicycle.

No bicycles will be needed here, though, and thank God, too... imagine the expense of having to maintain two vehicles and a pair of bikes. Besides, bikes are forbidden anyway on all those "close" freeways, and only those with a deathwish would consider riding to those "close" major employment centers, what with the danger of riding on those four lane collector roads. Jobs in those major employment centers in Rocklin are in education, technology services, commercial, and retail.

Yep, I'm sure a Rocklin unified teacher and her husband the retail associate could easily afford to live the million dollar lifestyle there in Rocklin. Why would they even need to access those "close" freeways? Everything they need is accessible via a short, pleasant walk.


In my little humble opinion, we shouldn't be spending a half a million to live like a millionaire (another example of our continuing Merkian ethos of unearned riches). But people do, which is their prerogative, but all this does is lead to more suburban slumification. Fifteen miles from everywhere, miles of ribbons of concrete and asphalt, four thousand square feet and five bedrooms for two people and a springer spaniel. They are the real slumdog millionaires.