I am willing to pay money to an American to manufacture my coffin. I am willing to pay money to not have to be buried alongside xx,000 cars/day. I really need to start planning for this, because in my America today, cheapness reigns supreme, and the most cost effective means of burying someone is in a Chinese coffin along undesirable stretches of land -- those near freeways. Chinese caskets are increasingly the choice of American consumers, as they are steeply discounted relative to the costs of having an American company build one.
I hate to think of the irony of blogging and criticizing our American culture of wanton consumption of cheap foreign shit and perpetual motoring, then spending eternity surrounded by imported vinyl trim listening to the din of a trillion motor vehicles. This must not be allowed to happen. Maybe I can make my own coffin, and until I'm dead, use it for a coffee table:
This would really pull double duty, no? It makes sense and cents -- I can save money, I can use local hardwoods using American tools and craftsmanship, I'm allowed to be buried in the coffin of my own choosing in the state of California (provided it meets certain characteristics), and it would look nice in my living room...for as long as I'm alive.
I already built a very nice toe-pincher coffin in 2007, used to house a pneumatic pop-up skeleton for Halloween. It fits me nicely. My son wanted to spend the night it in soon after I built it, although my wife would have none of that. Even that would work, although I really don't want to be buried in a plywood coffin. Hardwood only, and one very simply made similar to that used to bury the pope:
Clean lines, tight joinery, good craftsmanship -- the no-frills-approach to burial -- I'd like one of these, save for the cross on the lid. No, my casket will have inlaid horns instead:
1 comment:
YES! we can be buried in nearly anything we want in california. for now, they still require the stupid concrete "vault" be poured into the ground first, but hopefully by the time we're getting around to dying, they've put an end to that stupid practice. but you can have your body box made out of whatever you want -- and no, embalming with all of those disgusting toxic chemicals is NOT required. you can shrivel and stink it up all you want.
mine's going to be cardboard. they cost like a hundred bucks, and biodegrade. and someday when i live in a space that can accommodate such a piece of furniture, i will absolutely decorate it and keep it in my home.
a dear friend of mine died a couple of years ago from cancer, and when she knew she was going to lose the battle, she bought her cardboard casket and set to work decorating it. then at her home funeral, family and friends added their own personal artistic touches before we sent her on her way.
so i say you decoupage yourself some horns and rock on for all of eternity.
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