Eighteen MPH

Every day I ride the bicycle home I cross Highway 99 on the 41st avenue over crossing. Today, Tuesday at 4:55 PM -- there's stop and go traffic down below. From that vantage point I'm able to calculate the speed of the wave of stopped cars, the wave that moves backwards...and by my estimate it's traveling backwards at 18 MPH. Interestingly, this wave is independent of the average speed of the freeway in the forward direction. Every time I sit there and calculate it the wave of stopped cars moves backwards at about the same rate. I enjoy standing on my bike, looking down at the stalled traffic. It makes me feel SUPERIOR. Not only am I getting home in about the same time when there's an accident, I do so while keeping in shape and as a side benefit my car(s) are dormant for a while. I also get to criticize you as the consumeristic, energy hog-like planet killer that you are, without all that bothersome guilt.

I would someday like to ride my bicycle on the median of highway 99 in the wrong direction during rush hour alongside that backwards moving wave. I think that I could ride at a sustained 18 MPH and just as I passed every car they would at that moment be stopped. If I passed a cop, well, she'd be stopped, too...and would have to change direction against stopped traffic to chase me down. I'm pretty sure I could reach the next on-ramp (that is, my off-ramp) well before she'd be able to call me in. This would 1) verify my calculation that it is indeed moving at 18MPH as I have a speedometer on the bike, and 2) ride on one of only five roads in Sacramento where it's illegal to do so just to do it, to be a rebel, to say I've did it. Again, I would feel SUPERIOR.

Here's how I'll do it: I'll drive my truck down the freeway with my bike in the back and create a fake 'stalled' or 'out-of-gas' truck scene. In a "panic," as broken down motorists are wont to do, I'll mount my bike with a one gallon gas can on the rear rack and head in the wrong direction, under the assumption that the nearest gas station is behind me. Remember...I'm panicking. This also creates a stop and go wave simply due to the presence of my "stalled" truck, sitting there all by it's lonesome. It creates a bit of friction to all those bored commuters -- "Hey, look! Something other than the ass end of the car in front of me or a sound wall to look at!" Then I'll begin my experiment.

Here's a question: If it's illegal to simply be on the highway on a bicycle, do you think the fine would be more for bicycling the wrong way? Do you think the CHP is prepared to make that distinction? I think not.